Drinking Milk Makes You…

Fart Sounds

Awesome pic from: http://www.fart-sounds.net/

Apparently, most black people are lactose intolerant. I think the real statistic is that all black people have some degree of lactose intolerance. Go figure. Milk is supposed to be good, but our bodies resist it? Like the entire race of us? Wow!

Anyway, that’s not exactly what this random thought it about. The other day, I was more than happy to blame my temporary case of excessive gas to a glass of milk I’d taken an hour or so earlier.

Which reminded me of something I used to wonder about when I was younger. It’s simple: what would the world have been like if farts were colour (rather than smell) coded? You know, instead of releasing foul air, you emitted a temporary cloud of a given colour.

Basically, take away the smell; add colour.

Random thoughts:

  • It would be difficult to pretend is wasn’t you
  • Even smell-impaired people would know what you did
  • It would make it easier to know whether or not your baby has done the boo-boo without having to smell the diaper



  • Would farts still be funny?
  • Would we still have to excuse ourselves to go fart somewhere private when the need arises?
  • Would ‘colouring the air’ be a cool thing?
    #1: “Hey, see what I can do!” *fffffssshh* <green cloud>
    #2: “That’s nothing. I can do this.” *poo* <red cloud>
  • Would there be a Picasso called, The Fart?

What do you think?



  1. Hi Empi – Well that wasn’t what I was expecting by any means, LOL. I guess someone could fart a rainbow 😉

    • Empi said

      LOL. Debbie, that’s too funny. Think how often we could see rainbows 😉

  2. Kiru Taye said

    Do some writing, woman. Idle minds, eh. LOL

    • Empi said

      Hahaha, Kiru. Yes, I should be writing instead of letting my mind wander off to such destinations 😉

  3. LoL! funny. 🙂

    • Empi said

      Thanks, Tory. Glad you found it funny

  4. Since we’re on the smelly topic, did you know that gaseous anomoli are 99% odourless? It’s that 1% that’s mighty. Aha! A food for thought.

    • Empi said

      I did not know that. Wow! imagine if the ratios were reversed.

  5. Nana Araba said

    Thanks for the laugh Empi. If farts were colored we wouldn’t be able to make a face and blame it on someone else because everyone would see where the bubble of purple was emitted.

    • Empi said

      That’s the whole point, Nana Araba. That’s why I wonder if that would have changed the ‘face of farts’ – so to speak

  6. Naa said

    Well, well, well. I laughed loud enough to almost fart a rainbow!

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